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Bullying - Part Two
Melinda Tognini
Bullying can have a major impact on the lives of people who experience it. But how can we stop it? IF YOU ARE BULLIED If you are being bullied, you need to remember that you have a right to live a life without fear or intimidation. Many people are afraid that if they tell someone they are being bullied they will make the situation worse. But the reality is that while you don’t tell someone, the situation is certainly not going to stop. It will continue and possibly escalate. Some strategies that have been suggested by a range of sources, including the websites listed at the bottom of this article are: Avoid the bully/bullies. Just stay away from them. Stay with a group. For example if you know the bully is waiting on your way home, don’t walk home alone. Pretend not to hear what is being said. When I was being bullied, I chose to ignore my bullies. The guys who bullied me couldn’t hack it because they weren’t getting the reaction they wanted, so they stopped (although you have to persist with this – sometimes the bullying will get worse because they are trying harder for a reaction, but in my case it did pay off eventually). Remember though, that ignoring them doesn’t necessarily mean it hurts you any less, so it’s valuable to have someone you can talk to about how you’re feeling. Tell the bullies, “I don’t like that and I want you to stop.†That sound scary, and I guess there’s a chance they’ll say, “Tough luckâ€Â, but sometimes bullies don’t have any idea how they are affecting you, and by making them aware that you don’t think it’s a joke may be enough to make them stop. Build your own self-confidence. This can be easier to say than do, but bullies are less likely to pick on you if you are confident. If you lack confidence, then again, talk to someone who can help you in this area. Tell someone. This is not dobbing. It’s getting help to change a terrible situation. Nobody should have to live with the effects of being bullied. Many people are afraid to tell a teacher, or other adult, because they think it will make the situation will get worse. But I have heard many stories where telling a teacher actually stopped the bullying. The teacher set up a conference situation, possibly over several sessions, where the bully and the victim both expressed their side of the story. Usually the bully was then able to see what life was like for the victim, and the bullying stopped. The Kids Helpline website distinguishes between telling and dobbing. They say: “Dobbing is when you tell what someone has done which is against the rules. It usually gets someone into trouble. Asking for help is when you tell what someone has done to a person against their wishes. It usually gets someone out of trouble.†These are just a few tips. If you would like more check out the following websites: These include: Bullying Online www.bullying.co.uk There’s a lot of great info on this site. If you’re particularly wanting strategies for yourself if you’re being bullied, click on the “Advice to Pupils†section. Kid’s Helpline www.kidshelp.com.au This Australian website contains info sheets on bullying and links to other sites. It is also a good site for any problem you might have. There is even access to counsellors via email. If you specifically want strategies to combat bullying, go to www.kidshelp.com.au/INFO7/strategies.htm Bully Busters www.insideout.com.au. Click on “help for kidsâ€Â. You’ll find a stack of info there. Another site that is not specifically about bullying but is about helping young people through tough times is the Reach Out Website. This an Australian organisation that is doing some fantastic stuff. The web address is www.reachout.com.au Let me just repeat that if you’ve been a victim of bullying, I encourage you to tell someone. Telling someone is not dobbing. It is standing up for your rights. You have a right to live a life without fear or torment. And if the person you tell does nothing, tell someone else. Keep talking until someone takes you seriously. It is not good enough to be told “it’s part of growing up†or “ignore it and it will go away.†Also remember that you are not alone. You are not the only one. There are others who have been what you’ve been through. And you are special. I do not know you, but I can guarantee that you have gifts and abilities that are unique and beautiful and waiting to be discovered. God promises us that. I thought I had nothing to offer the world for all those years I was teased, but I do. And so do you. Lastly, I would love to hear from you! Especially if you have been bullied, and something you tried did work in terms of stopping the bullying. If you are not a Suite101 member, but have something valuable to say, please join up. Nobody deserves to be bullied. And your strategies may just help someone else to stop the bullying in their lives.
Sources:
Bullying Articles
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