Domestic / Dating Violence

· are afraid of your boy/girl friend's temper

· have become isolated and have few friends

· give in easily to his/her demands because you are   afraid to upset him/her

· have grown to expect abusive behavior as a part of your life

· are afraid to end the relationship because of threats of violence or suicide

HOW TO HELP FRIENDS 
 WHO ARE BEING ABUSED

•  Listen without blaming
•  Be there for support
•  Help them plan how to be safe
•  Encourage them to tell their parents
•  Help them to see that what is happening to them is abusive
•  Be sensitive
•  Tell them it is not their fault
•  Give them the HOPE Center Hotlines: 
  724-224-1266  OR 888-299-HOPE(4673)

CHARACTERISTICS OF AN ABUSER

• Low self-esteem
• Extremely jealous and possessive
• Dual personality - alternating between extreme tenderness and extreme aggressiveness 
• Inability to cope with anger and stress 
•  Extreme mood swings
• Grew up in an abusive home
• Socially isolated - has few friends
• Very poor communication skills
• Suspicious - makes accusations
• Forcefully controlling
• Believes in using violence to solve problems or have fun  
• Abuses alcohol and drugs
• Blames, belittles, humiliates, intimidates, shames and threatens 
• Can be very charismatic

THE BOTTOM LINE

No matter what characteristics your boy/girl friend may have, if you do not feel 100% safe, then you may be in a dangerous situation. Trust your inner feelings. Either stop dating this person or ask friends to join you when you go out with him/her. Call now for information about a safety plan.