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At Risk Kids: Are They Worth the Risk at Camp?
“A donor has generously given money for six disadvantaged, troubled youth to attend our teen week. If you can get them here, it won’t cost them a thing!” the camp director enthusiastically exclaimed as he phoned our state director. They had been working on just such an arrangement for over a year.
On the opening day of teen camp, the only ones feeling the least bit tentative were the six teens. Camp staff heartily greeted them, and our staff were pleased that all of the hard work of recruiting had paid off. We generally have to secure commitments from at least a dozen youth to ensure that six make it to such an activity.
Unfortunately, it didn’t take long before the tables had turned. On Wednesday the dreaded call came. “I’m sorry, things just aren’t working out. You’re going to have to send someone to pick up the six kids you brought. They’re refusing to obey our rules about smoking, curfew, attending chapel, you name it. One has already gotten into a fight with another camper, and several of the girls are starting to take a keen interest in a couple of them.”
Similar stories resonate with most camp staff when they recall their own frustration at trying to merge troubled youth into a camp for mainstream youth. As a result, many have adopted a “three strikes and you’re out” approach to dealing with troubled kids. This approach is becoming less and less effective though, as more and more troubled kids are making their way into Christian camping programs. One reason is the sheer number of at risk kids in today’s culture. One recent U.S. government statistic estimates that one out of every four children in America are now considered to be at risk for serious problems and dangerous lifestyles.
And the damage and hurt is not reserved for the so-called “at risk” kids. At the beginning of one high school retreat, filled with middle class teens from churches all over New England, I asked kids to write down one thing they wanted God to do in their lives during the weekend.
Here is a sampling of some of their requests:
To get rid of the moment when I was five years old with John.
I want God to take away the pain, and to put Jason away for a long time.
I have a lot of peer pressure about my weight. In the world today you’re
expected to have the body of a model.
I want God to heal the pain that I suffer from being raped by someone who I
thought was a friend.
I was beaten as a child and so the government took me and my sister away from them. I
was adopted and I’m feeling like it was my fault. I don’t know what to do.
Help me to forgive and forget what my father has done to me and no more bad dreams.
All I want is a dad.
More than ever before, Christian camps are being forced to adapt in order to minister to hurting, troubled young people. But how?
Gain a Better Understanding of Them
While there are many factors that contribute to a young person being “at risk,” the most common is coming from a dysfunctional family unit. Consider the prayer request one teen handed to one of our staff at the end of a Bible study:
Please pray for my friend Jared. He hung himself Sunday. I pray that he made it to heaven. Please pray my dad comes home from jail in 30 days and my HIV test comes back with what God wanted it to be.
Coming from such a background almost always surfaces in a deep-seated anger in young people as well as a hatred for authority. Thus, the standard approach of applying more rules and consequences – that might work for the average kid – only further exacerbates this type of young person. The old adage, “Rules without Relationship equals Rebellion” is particularly descriptive of what often happens with them.
Assign Appropriate Adults
At risk youth demand intense adult intervention. If we don’t provide it up front on the preventative side, we will be forced to give it on the punishment end. Nearly every camp staff has those counselors who are naturally more drawn to, or better trained, in how to deal with troubled kids. They should be assigned to them from the beginning, with the understanding that for them to minister effectively will require much more individual time and attention.
Spending an extended time at camp tends to surface issues, otherwise hidden, in any youth. It is no different for troubled kids. Their issues just tend to be more disruptive. As these issues arise, it is best for the counselor to get away with the teen alone rather than confronting in the presence of peers. Begin by reaffirming how happy you are to have them here. Point out some of the good qualities you have already observed, before talking about matters you’re concerned about.
Then, rather than demanding change, appeal respectfully on the basis of your need. Say things like, “Because you are such a leader, others look to you and follow your example. Do you see how that can make it difficult for me as a counselor?” Then, empower them in the change. “Would you be willing to help me by…? It’s been my experience that most kids live up to our expectations when we present them positively and they know that we genuinely like and respect them.
Such an approach also cuts to the core of many of the issues today’s troubled kids possess: distrusting authority, seeing themselves as trouble makers or losers, feeling powerless and disrespected, and feeling generally alienated from adults.
Uniquely Poised
Though it is difficult and demands additional attention, Christian camps are still one of the best vehicles for God’s transforming work in the lives of troubled kids. Nearly every time I speak at youth retreats I bring two or three kids that I’m working with who have come out of detention centers. Most echo the words of Frankie who accompanied me this winter, “This was the greatest weekend of my life!”
Even if the change doesn’t seem to last much beyond the camp experience, the memories are never lost. Recently, I was reunited with one of the first boys we had worked with so intensely. He had fallen a long way, and was just beginning to make his way back. During our conversation he said, “In the time I spent with you guys I experienced more things than the rest of my life combined -- far more than anybody else I know on the streets. Even while I was doing bad, I couldn’t forget about what I had experienced through those youth retreats and mission trips. It used to haunt me day and night to know what I was missing now. I finally couldn’t keep buying the lie that sin was fun and following God was boring. It was those memories that eventually drove me back to God again.”
Of course, we cannot overcome every obstacle plaguing the lives of a troubled teen in a mere week or weekend. But to the extent that we create an environment where they can authentically encounter Christ, they can never again completely deny the reality of God and his work in their lives. For many, they can now say as Job, “My ears had heard of you but now my eyes have seen you” (Job 42:5). A venture that’s worth the risk.