A Parent's Guide to Sober Teen Celebrations

Prom time, graduation and other special occasions in your teenager's life are the events which make those wonderful memories!  Unfortunately, these festive times all too often are destroyed by teens using alcohol and other drugs.  This consumption can tragically result in injury or loss of life in traffic crashes.

As parents, you may hear lines like -- "Gosh, Dad, all the other guys have some beer! I'd be too embarrassed to have my friends over unless we've got something! Maybe, Mom, just a few wine coolers?."

Watch out!  In most states it's an offense for an adult to serve alcohol to a minor, at least in commercial establishments.  With the passage of the Age 21 laws, there has been increasing interest in preventing alcoholic beverage service to minors by social hosts.

But what can you do to help prevent your teenager from being served alcohol?  Mothers Against Drunk Driving (MADD) offers the following action steps:

At the State level:

• Review state law on service to minors.  Does it include all adults, not just salespersons?  Is driver's license suspension one of the penalties for providing alcohol to minors?         
• Review dram shop and civil liability laws.  Do they provide for social host liability for serving sober as well as intoxicated minors?

At the Community level:

• Form action groups which include parents, police, school administrators and local merchants to evaluate the community's needs for information and alcohol-free activities for youth.         
• Conduct public information and education programs.         
• Work with police and courts to enforce laws against providing alcohol to minors.

FOR PARENTS OF TEENS HOSTING A PARTY

Set your ground rules with your teen before the party.

• Stress shared responsibility for hosting the party and jointly plan the party activities.

Plan on being home during the entire party.

• Carefully select the location for the party to allow for comfort and adequate supervision.         
• Replenish the food trays and the drinks.  Your presence will help keep the party running smoothly and give you a chance to meet your teen's friends -- but do not hang around!

Remember it is illegal to serve alcohol to guests who are under 21 or to allow guests to use other drugs in your home.  Let your teen know the laws and the consequences.

• Alert yourself to the signs of alcohol or other drug use by teens.         
• Guests who try to bring in these substances should be asked to leave.  Be willing to call the police if unwanted guests refuse to leave.         
• Notify the parents of teens who arrive at the party drunk or under the influence of any other drug to ensure the teen's safe transportation home.

DO NOT LET ANYONE DRIVE UNDER THE INFLUENCE OF ALCOHOL OR OTHER DRUGS!

Notify the police when planning a large party.

• This will help the police protect you, your guests and your neighbors.         
• Discuss with police an agreeable plan for guest parking.         
• Note: The ability of police to assist you will, of course, depend upon the size of your community and its police force.

Notify your neighbors of the party.  Limit the party attendance and set start and ending times.

• Make a guest list, issue invitations and restrict party crashing.

Guests should not be allowed to come and go.

• This will discourage teens from leaving the party to drink or use other drugs elsewhere and return.

PARENTS OF TEENS ATTENDING A PARTY

Be sure you know where your teenagers will be:

• Obtain the address and phone number of the party host or hostess.         
• Let your teen know that you expect a phone call if the location is changed.

Contact the parents of the party-giver to:

• Verify the occasion.         
• Offer assistance.         
• Make sure that a parent will be present.         
• Be sure that alcohol and other drugs will not be permitted.

Know that your teen will get to and from the party and, if needed, be available to provide transportation.

• Urge your teen NEVER to ride home with a driver who has been drinking.

Set the time teens are expected to return home.

• Be awake, or be sure to have them awaken you when they arrive home.

If your teenager stays overnight with a friend after the party, check with the parents of the friend to verify that:

• They want your teen to stay over and they will be home.         
• You both agree on the length of the stay and other basic rules.

Avoid spontaneous 'sleep-overs' when possible.

You and your teen may want to phone the party host or hostess the next day to express appreciation for their hospitality.

Remember, teen celebrations should be fun, not fatal!  It is hoped that the tips included in this brochure will assist you in planning safe, chemical-free activities for your teens throughout their high school years.