| Parenting Resources - Teen Violence: Abuse |
Teen Dating Violence Spotlighted
By Teen Health Centre
A new public awareness campaign created to raise awareness about teen dating violence has been launched by the Governor’s office.
The campaign, which is entitled "If It Doesn’t Feel Right, It Probably Isn’t," is being sponsored by the Office for the Prevention of Domestic Violence (OPDV) and features three radio public service announcements, mall kiosk displays and school mailings. The campaign began in early September and will continue through Domestic Violence Awareness month in October.
Some of the concepts for the campaign and artwork for the posters were selected during the 2004 Teen Dating Violence and Healthy Relationships Media Contest. Last fall, announcements were sent to all high school art, health, music and technology teachers in New York State. Students in grades 9-12 were invited to submit posters, songs and music videos that could be used to raise awareness about the seriousness of teen dating violence.
"This campaign will serve as a powerful platform to raise awareness about teen dating violence and will let all of New York’s teens know that there are resources available to help if they are suffering from abuse," Gov. Pataki said. "I hope that by heightening awareness we will be able to continue to combat all types of domestic violence and ensure that our children know what it means to be an equal and valued partner in their relationships."
"I also want to commend the more than 180 students that participated in the Teen Dating Violence and Healthy Relationships Media Contest, and once again congratulate those whose artwork and ideas were selected for this campaign. Your ideas and expressions are making a difference for countless teens across this State," the Governor added.
Teens in dating relationships are often inexperienced and may be unclear about when certain behaviors cross the line and become abusive. For example, extreme jealousy can often be misinterpreted as love and attentiveness, rather than power and control. In a survey published in the Journal of the American Medical Association, researchers found that out of the more than 4,000 9th through 12th graders questioned, approximately 1 in 5 female students reported being physically and/or sexually abused by a dating partner.
And, the US Department of Justice has found that females between the ages of 16 and 24 experience the highest per capita rates of domestic violence.
Sherry Frohman, Executive Director of the Office for the Prevention of Domestic Violence said, "Domestic violence in teen dating relationships must be taken seriously. We must hold offenders accountable and provide services for victims, regardless of their age. As a community, it is our responsibility to support youth and give the clear message that domestic violence will not be tolerated in New York State."
Each component of the campaign has been geared towards reaching teens and highlighting the message that abuse isn’t always physical. The radio spots, which will air with the cooperation of the New York State Broadcasters Association, have been written as testimonials and describe the forms of abuse common in adolescent dating violence. Two spots are from the viewpoint of teens and one is from the viewpoint of a mother who notices a change in her daughter. The kiosk signs will be posted in 16 malls across the state and feature a female teen with a UPC barcode across her forehead. The heading reads: "You are not his property."
In addition, OPDV will be partnering with schools and distributing a free informational package to all the high schools in New York State. The package will include copies of Kristin Colasonno’s winning poster from the Teen Dating Violence and Healthy Relationships Media Contest. A recent graduate of Ward Melville High School in Stony Brook, Ms. Colasonno’s poster features the face of a girl leaning sadly against a mirror, her reflection showing a black eye and bruises with a headline that reads: "All the makeup in the world can't change what he does," along with the sobering statistic that "1 in 5 teenagers is affected by teen dating violence." All of the campaign materials provide the phone number for the New York State Domestic Violence Hotline: 1-800-942-6906 (1-800-942-6908 for Spanish speakers), where interested individuals can learn about services available and be directed to programs in their community. 9-23-05
Teens and Dating Violence
It's Happening More Often Than You Think!
Violence and abuse in teen dating relationships is much more common than most people would like to admit. The startling facts are that 1 in 10 high school students will experience physical violence from a partner and many more will suffer psychological abuse.
Some Startling Facts About Dating Violence
- Of women between 15-19 murdered each year in the U.S.
- 30% are killed by their husband or boyfriend.
- 26% of all female murder victims in 1995 were killed by their partners.
- 40% of teenage girls age 14-17 report knowing someone their age who has been hit or beaten by a boyfriend.
- In 1998 in the U.S. approximately 1,800 murders were attributed to intimates; nearly 75% of these had a female victim.
Dating violence can include physical, emotional and sexual abuse. Many teens have trouble admitting that they are in fact involved in an abusive relationship. Oftentimes the victim is made by the victimizer to feel as if the abuse is their fault, that they did something to provoke it, that they deserved it. This just isn’t true! Nobody deserves to be abused in any way.
Physical dating violence can include:
- Hitting
- Kicking
- Punching
- Choking
- slapping
Emotional abuse comes in many forms that at first may seem subtle. However, over time even subtle comments can have a big impact on a person’s self-esteem. Emotional abuse is perhaps one of the most common and unfortunately one of the most under reported or recognized forms of abuse. Victims may feel that because the victimizer has not physically harmed them that it is not in fact an abusive relationship. This is a misconception; emotional abuse is a very real problem for teens and adults alike. Emotional abuse includes the following:
- name-calling
- public humiliation
- threats of physical violence
- isolation from friends and family
- extreme jealousy and possessiveness on the abuser’s part.
Emotional abuse is especially harmful because after a period of time being told they are worthless and stupid, the victim begins to believe it. There is a loss of self-esteem and they may even begin to believe they deserve the abuse. This often makes it more difficult for the victim to leave the relationship because she/he feels that they are not good enough for and do not deserve anyone better.
Sexual abuse occurs in a dating relationship when one partner forces the other into sexual acts without consent. Many people believe the myth that it’s not rape if you’re in a relationship with the person. This is just not true. Any non-consensual, forced sexual contact from a partner is assault.
Are You in an Abusive Relationship??
After reading this information on dating violence do you think you or someone you know might be involved in an abusive relationship? Here are some questions to ask yourself:
- Does your partner consistently ridicule or insult you?
- Does your partner make you account for your time away from him/her?
- Does your partner become extremely jealous if you talk to other people or go out with friends without him/her?
- Does your partner threaten to hurt you or him/herself if you break up with them?
- Does your partner kick, slap, punch, hit or shove you?
- Does your partner force you to touch or have sex with him/her?
- Does your partner blame you for provoking his/her violent behaviour?
- Does your partner come from a home in which he/she is abused?